Thankful for a Sovereign God during Summer Visitation

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It’s that time of year, :'( …..the time when as the primary custodial parent I must bid my son adieu for the summer visitation with his biological father. I know I’m not the only one losing my baby for the summer, but the normalcy of the situation doesn’t remove my concerns, fears and tears.

Ideally, this would be a time of awesome father and son bonding that is usually relegated to the weekends.  The idea sound great, but that also assumes Lil’ Lizards biological father intends to take responsibility, create connections and pour into his son’s life.  I pray for my son’s sake that this summer is different, and the described intentions are the case this year.  For that opportunity, I am thankful.

Choosing a to Praise God in the midst of custody heartache
Orginial photo: Shlomit Wolf via UnSplash

Divorce simply isn’t the way God designed families to work…so when a parent is missing, to say it’s tough on kids is a gross understatement.  In an effort to find a balance, the state looks for a custody arrangement.  While I conceptually support parental rights independent of marital status, I absolutely hate the court ordered time my baby spends away from his home.  I can’t imagine any other condition, barring a medical emergency or some catastrophe, where a 7-year-old would be sent away from his mother for a month with no contact.  My poor fella first had to do this as a 4-year-old 🙁    I recognize that many mothers (or primary care giving fathers) have to deal with harsher custody arrangements, or non at all for that matter, and my heart goes out to them.

“Wait a minute,” you may be thinking “I thought it was THANKFUL THURSDAY, not venting-bitter-saddness day.”  You’re absolutely right, and if writing these posts each week have reminded me of anything….it’s that God asks to trust Him and be praise Him in ALL things….even when it’s difficult.  Does this mean we sugar coat things and put on a superficial face when we are heart-broken? No. Does this mean we wallow in our grief and sink into depression? Certainly not. Often we tend to bury things because they are too difficult to process. Yet when we take the time to unpack them in the presence of our Savior, THAT’S where the healing and restoration transpires.  For me, I find it begins with the simple act of thanks.

Despite the emotional turmoil, I thank God for the time I DO have my son….the fact that I was ever able to bear him, and that he is still alive.  I choose to praise God, the Most High and Sovereign Authority over all, even July visitation.  When concerns about my son’s physical safety or possible destructive influences arise, I choose to recall that my Lil’ Lizard is nestled safely in the palm of His hand, and under His wings at all times, not just in my home. How much more does the Father love him than I?

So thank You God, thank You for all You do, and thank You for Your word, hymns and the Holy Spirit You’ve sent to comfort me and my son in this time. Thank You for revealing the blessings this season affords and the work You would have me do.  I give You all the Glory, and all the Honor and all the Praise, Forever and Forever, Amen!

Thankfully God is bigger than divorce, it’s aftermath, the effects it has and heartaches it causes for my family today.  So despite this heart wrenching time away from my darling Lil’ Lizard, I choose to turn my eyes upon Jesus, and His work on the cross.

What about you? How have you coped with difficult times? What things have you found to help you cultivate a thankful heart in the midst of sadness?  Maybe you’ve got some praise reports to share. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments 🙂

 

16 thoughts on “Thankful for a Sovereign God during Summer Visitation

  1. Well Cookie this is something I can relate to although in the opposite way. My ex-husband was the custodial parent and I saw my son on every other weekend and for the summer, well most of the summer. This went on from age 12 to 16 and at 16 he refused to return to his father’s after summer. Rough time on all of us although I think my ex-husband was hurt more since he was the one who had to give up his son or risk him running away which he threatened.

    My son needed mental help and his father could not give him that. He held my mental state over my head to get custody and then had to live with his son telling him that he wasn’t going to live there anymore.

    He came to me and he was able to talk to me because I was always open about my mental state. I got him help and then told my ex-husband. He wouldn’t have allowed it. I embarrassed him and heaven forbid his son was the same way.

    God stepped in and gave me the words to convince him and a home to take him to. We moved in with my parents who had just moved to a larger house and I couldn’t figure out why. Now I know why.
    Tessa recently posted…HBHATNAGAR’s GameMy Profile

    1. I’m sorry to hear all that you and your son had to go through, I can’t begin to imagine. I’m so thankful you were able to get him to a safe place with help. Whenever I think of time lost and the God of restoration, I am reminded of Joel 2:25-27

      The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
      to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
      the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.[d]
      It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.
      26
      Once again you will have all the food you want,
      and you will praise the Lord your God,
      who does these miracles for you.
      Never again will my people be disgraced.
      27
      Then you will know that I am among my people Israel,
      that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other.
      Never again will my people be disgraced.”

    2. Tessa, thank you for opening up the window of your soul so we can not only know more about you, but know how to better pray for you and to encourage you. I continue to be amazed by God and all the ways He intertwines our hearts and lives together. You are loved by our Almighty God.

  2. I love the idea of taking our concerns, fears, and feelings and being able to “unpack them in the presence of our Savior.” What a great picture. Sorry for the struggle. Must be hard on a momma’s heart.

    1. Thank you Deb! It is incredibly difficult, but as I honestly and openly share my emotions with the Lord He reminds me of how much He loves my son and that He has got it all under control. Romans 8:28 and been a great comfort “The Lord works all things together for the good of those who love Him”

      1. Deb and Cookie. We have to remember through these trying times that God has a purpose for it. I believe things happen for a reason. I had to go through an episode of time with a con man for me to get my son back. It would never have happened without that experience, unpleasant as it ended up being. I got my son back. I am coming back into the fold slowly and surely. I was very disenchanted and disappointed in God for quite some time. It took my worsening mental state and something I heard to bring me back into the fold and I am glad that it did. I am following in my mother’s footsteps in helping people where I can. May she rest in peace. I know she is helping me through my rough times and I have regained my faith in God!
        Tessa recently posted…Sun Rise – HaikuMy Profile

  3. I sit here staring at my computer screen, and tears are welling up. Seeing the lives that are connecting together here….this is sacred ground…a place of hearts being knit together in love, unpacking the riches of His grace within each others lives…learning growing in the mystery of Christ Himself, the one whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (loosely based on Colossians 2: 2,3) Each of us learning from the other, nuggets given through the good times and the bad.

    Cookie, I’ll be praying for you as you trust God during this month long separation. And I’ll be praying for lil lizard and his biological dad. Seven is an important age in the life of a little man. Praying they will both discover good things about each other and be able to give God the glory for it.

    1. Marsha I am more at peace now that God is back in my life. I believe he has set up my path to help others. I know it is hard Cookie, but unless the boy’s father is unfit it is good for him to spend time with him. I wish my children’s father would get along with them all better, but he brought it all on himself. I never told the kids he was bad at this or that, they saw it with their own eyes.

      May God and peace be with you all. And thank you for accepting me into your little group here.
      Tessa recently posted…Sun Rise – HaikuMy Profile

  4. [* WordPress Simple Firewall plugin marked this comment as “trash”. Reason: Failed GASP Bot Filter Test (comment token failure) *]
    Beautiful, simply beautiful. Honest, heartfelt and loving

    1. THANK YOU CRYSTAL!! I’m so sorry for not replying sooner, this comment was sent to the SPAM section for some reason 😕 So I just want to thank you for you kind words and for stopping by 🙂

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